Having a Little Londoner
One of the most thrilling things about falling pregnant was telling friends and family about our bun in the oven. Everyone’s excitement was infectious, and slipping our news casually into conversation became sport. As kiwis living in London, a question we heard a lot was "did you plan for this to happen here?" With New Zealand being home to our parents among many other things, it might not necessarily seem like our first pick.
Sam and I have been in London for five years now, and are in love with this city. It has been good to us, and we are both in fulfilling jobs. We knew we wanted to start trying for kids at around 30, and uprooting our London life just was not on the cards. Although being away from home for our first baby initially made me anxious (no parents nearby, a different healthcare system), our experience thus far has left us with very little to complain about.
NHS vs. private
I’ll be upfront here. At first I was scared about having a baby with the NHS. There were enough headlines flying around about under-resourced hospitals, record waiting times and striking staff. I had also heard a couple of first-hand stories about there not being enough beds for labouring women. This feeling was compounded by our first unscheduled visit to our local hospital. We waited for over three hours to be seen, only to then be told to come back the following morning as there was no one with the time to see us. Another three hour wait then ensued the next day, in an overcrowded and chaotic waiting room. I panicked, and declared we had to go private.
But ‘going private’ just financially was not an option. Rather than being in the couple-of-thousands-of-pounds range, it is in the couple-of-tens-of thousands-of-pounds range. So I did some more digging and asked around, and we ended up switching to Chelsea & Westminster Hospital (you can elect which hospital to give birth in). And our experience with them has been incredible - we cannot thank them enough. During labour, we felt that we were in very safe hands. There were always a couple of midwives in the room, and the anaesthetist was able to come within the half hour after I asked for the epidural. Post-birth, we were left relatively alone but help was there if we asked.
My big piece of advice with the NHS would be to ‘speak up’ and ask for help. If you feel something is not right, or you want something to be checked again, say it. As we were very fortunate and doing well, we were left to our own devices by and large. I asked for a physical exam before leaving for peace of mind, and also asked to be observed a few times breastfeeding George. Both times, the midwives were more than happy to help. We were so grateful for our experience that a month later we returned with chocolates on the same Sunday night shift to say ‘thank-you’.
The Bump Class & NCT
Labour has freaked me out ever since I realised it was something I would have to go through one day if I wanted children. I knew the best way to arm myself mentally for it would be to learn as much as I could. My wonderful manager at work got me onto ‘The Bump Class’, which was hands-down the best preparation I did. Each of the eight classes were jam-packed with such useful information that my notes had notes. Several sessions were attended by midwives who walked us through hospital procedures, and Dr. Chiara Hunt - very experienced in pediatrics - also ran a few. Co-founder Marina Fogel made me feel so welcome that I quickly became ‘that girl’ who definitely asked too many questions. If you do one thing during your pregnancy in London, this is it. I also highly recommend their book which you can find here.
Like just about any other expectant parents in central London, our biggest priority was finding somewhere bigger than our you-can-touch-all-walls-at-once flat. We moved to the south-west knowing no-one locally, and joined a local NCT course largely to make friends. We got very lucky with the couples we met. I have loved the time I have already shared with fellow sleep-deprived mamas, and Sam has enjoyed pints with his fellow oh-my-god-labour-I-need-another-beer papas. Our course leader was phenomenal, and the joint sessions helped Sam feel more comfortable about what to expect too.
One big thing I feel is missing from the whole experience is more support after birth. First-time parents in the UK generally only spend one night in hospital and it astounds me how quickly you are expected to fend for yourself. We paid for a lactation expert to come around four days in to help us get the hang of breastfeeding {read more on that here}, and I would recommend researching what postpartum support is available in your area as it changes with each borough.
I know birthing a baby is old news, but a small part of me is proud of having the confidence to have our first-born away from home. While it breaks our hearts that we are so far from family, we feel we are where we should be for our little family right now. George is now the proud owner of a shiny British passport, and we look forward to re-exploring London with him as he grows. Now if I could just magic our buggy down the stairs of our front door, that would be great.
With Love, Kate
